You should get a tight red v neck sweater and prance around my place Sunday while I film you

This was the message I got from the Jerk today. The really bad part is, I actually considered it for a minute. :(

I thought I had a tight grip today, then I lost it....

My job requires a lot of driving around, cold calling, etc. I decide to go to this little town south of me to get some work in. For some reason on my way it strikes me that "The sweetheart" (who by the way may be getting a new not so friendly name) had told me about the 24 hour gym there and that I should join it. I figured it was a safe bet that he wouldn't be there when I was going in today because he was supposed to be going to dinner with his mom. I go in, talk to the owner, look the place over, sign the contract, and lo and behold, who walks in the door... Mr. I haven't attempted to make any form of contact with you today. I don't say a whole lot, I walk out the door, he follows me out, asks me if I'm not gonna be working out, and I said I might go get my workout clothes from home and workout later. He also informed me that he had a softball game tonight and then his friends are taking him out for his birthday afterward.He says he'll probably be there for another hour. So what do I do? I drive like a bat out of hell to get home, get changed, and get back to that gym while he is still there. I then proceed to have the best workout of my life because I am jealous as hell when two bitches come up to him telling him happy birthday and chatting with him. They weren't even working out. Not even in workout clothes. ??? Anyways, I'm pumping iron like there is no tomorrow with NIN blowing out my eardrums. When he and his buddy get ready to leave he comes over to tell me bye. And like the Stage Five Clinger that I am, I ask him if he wants a cheerleader there at his game. I get a "well.... the guys are taking me out later..." and I said, oh, I just meant the game, but it's cool, nevermind. Because OBVIOUSLY I am playing it so very cool. *insert eye roll here

By the way, when I had a boyfriend, I was invited to watch his games and go out with his friends at least once a week.

I think I'm going back to my original post break-up plan which was no damn men for a year. Or at least until the end of the year. This shit is way too stressful.

The 26 year old who's never actually dated

That's right. I'm 26, and I've never been in a normal, start off dating, grow into something more, fall in love, enter into coupledom bliss type of relationship. Instead, I have dove head first from one man's arms to the next. At eighteen, I left an extremely dangerous family situation and moved directly in with a guy friend. It was that or a shelter, so I went with the friend. Who of course was no longer just a friend within a couple of days. Three years later we were married, and four years later we were divorced. Of course, instead of taking time to grieve and heal, I find my solace in the bed of another man I barely know. The day after I left my husband. Terrible, I know, but it felt good at the time, so I gave in. Unfortunately, he had more issues than I did, and nine months later we finally end the most volatile relationship known to man. And that's where this whole story will really start. The trials and tribulations of a girl who has never entered a relationship under any sort of normal circumstance. A girl who has never had someone fall in love with her. A girl who had to fight her whole life trying to make someone love her.